Sex in Hollywood
I figured a title like that would get your attention. And it did. The amount of times I’ve turned down sex and had opportunities taken away from me, that would get your attention as well. Or at least it should. If it doesn’t, then you’d fit right in in the entertainment business. The coverings of wine, or late night one on one meetings, or when something is prefaced by the words “It won’t be weird.” It’ll be weird. It’ll be very weird.
I debated writing about this topic, and even more so posting about it, but I know there are others out there who have had to deal with it. I say ‘others’ and not just women because I know there are some men who have had to deal with these issues as well. Though they may be far less. As all the men and women I respect state themselves as feminists. I am one as well. To some, this word has a certain connotation of man-hating. Or you picture the women’s bookshop owners from Portlandia. If you can’t even say the word, feminist, you are working against what you say you believe in. And I’m sorry but you are in fact not one. The actual definition of the word is this:
The Theory of political, economic, and social equality of the sexes.
In short, equal rights. And no, these equal rights very much still don’t exist. It’s sort of a broad term, ‘equal rights’, but for me it’s how women are treated that isn’t equal. The extremes of it I believe exist in the entertainment business because, well, sex sells. The fact is women are sexualized far more than men. And I think certain times sexuality is the first emotion that comes across when meeting people in the industry. A large percentage of them have main goals of being ‘successful’, ‘attractive’, ‘rich’, all high up on the chart of what gets someone laid. So how come when you turn down sex to stick up for your own morals, or simply for the fact you don’t want to sleep your way to the top, you feel.. awkward about it? So you just ruined a relationship with a potential band you were going to work with because you turned down sex with someone who’s ego can’t handle it. They cut you out. That happens. That happened to me. And having to explain that to your record label, or band members, is not a conversation you want to have. Nor is it one that could ever be 100% empathized with because they didn’t have to go through that. You did. Or how a studio hangout man to man, is nothing but business. Woman to man, the idea of sex immediately comes into play. It’s unfair, and sadly just something women still have to deal with, because I feel like no matter how far equal rights go, some men’s primal instincts will always outweigh any moral grounds of what isn’t appropriate to say or act on. In the words of Lauryn Hill, ‘Respect is just the minimum’, and honestly, sometimes it’s hard to get even that. Like how a sound man said to me the other day “Oh, women are like that, always jumping the gun”, when I simply went to adjust my own mic stand. In Seth Meyers voice… “Really? Reaalllyyy????” It seems like such a small thing, but these small things add up, and add weight to how you act as a woman in the business. They add weight to whether you even want to be in the business or not.
So use the word feminist. Use your words when someone is cleverly hinting at sex, but won’t come right out and say it. Call them on it. Make that conversation even more uncomfortable. Stick up for yourself, and other women. Because next time, maybe they won’t be so coy. Maybe they won’t tell you to come over to their house for wine, instead of meeting at the studio. Lose the job. Keep your self-respect. No amount of money could ever buy that back.
Toronto we play in you tonight!! 2 shows! Check the .com for info cause we’re driving. Dont be lazy. Do it.
Taken off the bar wall right now. THIS IS TONIGHT. If i bothered to get Vine i’d pan around and show you the band soundchecking right now
NEW Can't Keep Your Mind Off (DRUGZNDREAMZ Remix feat. Ellie Fletcher)
HOLY CRUMPETS. I’m so excited about this remix. DrugznDreamz (fellow Vancouverites) absolutely kill it with Ellie Fletcher (my hero/crush) from Crystal Fighters (google them. if you don’t know, now you know). This Remix is legit beautiful and possibly my fav of this track yet. I’m so stoked for you all to hear. Oh and it’s a free download along with “Something To Me” from our new record ‘Other’. Win frickin’ Win.
New Tour Dates Announced More to follow...
go check the details over in the tour section of the site. We’re stoked! Shows with Wintersleep, Metric and mooooooore: http://www.data-romance.com/tour